Take Max for example. We've never really had behavioral issues with Max. Honestly he's a very easy going kid with a side of sensitivity. He's thrown a few tantrums over the years but nothing big. I can probably count on one hand how many times the boy has actually thrown a temper tantrum. And as far as "time-outs" go there's been very few over the years as well. However we are noticing that as he is getting older he's become somewhat demanding/bossy/likes to play the parent role. He's a smart kid too because there's times where he'll be in mid-sentence and I'm like wait, did you just talk back to me because I think you did? But say it again so I can be sure. He's also not a screamer so the tone of his voice never really changes when he gets mouthy. In fact even when he is really mad at us the most he'll say(in a calm voice)is "you not my fwiend no mowe."
For example in the car this morning he asks:
Max: "Mom did you get my morning songs out of dad's car?"
Me: "No, I keep forgetting."
Max: "Mom I told you to get them and you didn't so I will be very mad at you!"
Of course I'm in the middle of listening to a song when this conversation arises so part of me is tuning him out. And on a side note the boy talks non-stop in the car so yeah, I'll admit I tune him out a lot. But all of a sudden it hit me and I'm thinking what did you just say to me? I quickly got his attention and made it clear that he does not talk to me that way. Also before leaving this morning he stood at the bathroom door and said "mom I told you to bring my stuff downstairs!" Little did he know that dad heard that and was quick to reprimand him. I catch Max talking this way at least once a day and everyday I tell him how that behavior is not okay. We try to always stay calm but yes this is hard at times, we try not to yell but again it can be hard. Between the mouthy-ness and the overall not listening(this is what really tests my patience)I feel like a broken record when it comes to trying to discipline him on these matters. We were just talking about it again today and saying how he knows too just when to turn off the behaviors. As soon as we threaten to take away toys, movies, or other fun privileges he stops. We question whether maybe we're too soft on him? Hmm.....maybe, I don't know. He's challenging in the sense that he's not your typical argumentative kid, if that makes any sense. Plus he's very sensitive at times, this actually does worry us a bit seeing as how he will be starting school next year. Any advice from mom's with "sensitive" boys would be appreciated.
And then there's Lila. Oh Lila you're a challenge of another kind. Have I mentioned we have a hitter on our hands. Gosh Lila, it's borderline embarrassing when you pick your kids up from daycare and your 1 year old has been on two time-outs today for hitting her friends. But then again how can I reprimand her, it's an improvment from the day before when she had four time-outs! Speaking of time-outs, this little lady has had more in the last 6 months then Max has had in his 4.5 years. We realize she's only 1 and is testing her boundaries but hitting?! I've seen her do it too. She means business. When Max told her "no" the other day she smacked him in the head. I told her we do not hit and to go sit on the time-out spot, which she did. She's so use to it that when we say time-out she walks on over. In fact the other day she had an item in her hands that she was not suppose to. Josh told her to bring it to him she said "no." He again told her to bring it to him or she would be on a time-out. So what did Lila do, she took the item and walked on over to the time-out. It's hard too. She's only 1 and so to some extent it's hard not to laugh at her(but we really try not to)but boy is she a little spit fire. We also got to talking about the difference between discipling a boy versus a girl. I think you just naturally think that you'll be harder on the boy but we're finding in our house that's not the case. Max genuinely strives to be good. He's very quick to tell me how good he was at Nora's and how many time-outs Lila had. Although he is very proud of her when she makes it through the day without any time-outs.
I guess in the end like every other part of parenting it's a learning process and you will always have some struggles. You change the way you do things based on the child and the behaviors that are taking place at that time, and hope that they don't out smart you in the process.
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